we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
