I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
of course. lets lasso hookers.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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