i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
