Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Enjoy the penises
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
