Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
