Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
