I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Damn victory sex feels great
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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