omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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