I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Shame - the story of my life.
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