theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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