Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
