i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize