i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
