Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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