Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
