Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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