I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
