dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
