wat bout pragnant strippers??
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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