I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
