they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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