i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize