maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
