you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
