what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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