Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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