Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize