I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
