Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
