why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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