Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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