The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
