Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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