Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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