this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My ATM looks so different sober.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I currently don't understand fingers.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
