Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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