He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
