My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
im holly from the hills drunk
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm getting married
To pizza
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
