can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
