Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
