You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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