He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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