That's intense
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
