Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
