The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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