So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
