trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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