Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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