The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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