i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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