I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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