Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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