dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
