Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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