I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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