i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
