i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
