yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize