You can't motorboat a personality
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
