I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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