Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
