i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
