I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
