She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize