Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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