hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wish my penis had an off switch
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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