Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
