so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize